After talking about it for about two years, I finally wrote to Ellen (we're on a first-name basis, natch) and told her I wanted to be a writer on her show. It's a big leap; I can write, but I haven't written for television. I'd like to think, however, that I am a teachable bear and would learn how to perch on the little footstool while juggling and sporting a comically tiny hat. I know I can do the job and do it well. Despite my many fantasies about this dream actually coming true, I am rooted in reality. I know it could take weeks or months to hear from someone at her show, and I also know I might never hear back. It's not like I'm the first person to be like "Screw all those improv and comedy writing classes and "experience"! I'ma write a cute letter and she'll just fall in love with me and my moxie!" (It's cute, by the way. It came in a tiny box and it makes a peeping sound when you poke it.) You never know. It could happen. Ellen is forever changing people's lives; why not me too?
I'm going to be in California in September to speak at a conference and, schedule permitting, will be heading down the coast to Simi Valley afterwards to visit with some friends for a couple weeks. They only live about 40 minutes from Burbank, so it's feasible for us to try and get tickets for a taping of the show. That alone will be amazing. Of course I'm a longtime viewer of the show and can't imagine how cool it will be to be in the audience. With a gigantic sign that says PLEASE HIRE ME, of course.