- New windshield wipers because the shitty, dying pair on my car are pretty good at just smearing rain around, which is basically the polar opposite of helpful
- To ovary up and go to the damn leasing office and put money on my laundry card WHY IS THIS SO HARD FOR ME TO DO THEY WON'T BITE ME unless I ask them to and that's unlikely to happen because ew boys gross and stinky
- A new car door handle because mine broke months ago when my door froze shut and it's gotten hella irritating to crawl through from the passenger side to open the door sidenote WOOHOO LOOK AT MY BUUUUUUUUUUUTT
- Tweezers go away stupid tiny beard
Less-boring shit:
- New sheets because soft and yay and more linenz 4evah
- Someone to snuggle and canoodle C'MON YOU KNOW YOU WANNA I KNOW THINGS like the capital of Vermont why what did you think I was talking about you so nasty but seriously I'm a Scorpio *wiggles eyebrows*
- A house or soundproof apartment so I can sing after 10 p.m. without worrying that I'm bugging my neighbors but after about 13 years of being considerate y'all better shut up cause I'm about to Josh Groban this bitch
- More art supplies always and forever I DO NOT OWN TOO MANY MARKERS, SHANNON
- A friend named Shannon I can yell at
- A hedgehog to cuddle even though I'm scared that it would be spiky and weird okay that's more of a want shut up
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