Thursday, October 29, 2015

Updates and such

The crush that had me over the moon at the end of July ended as quickly as it started, but all those floaty little flutterbys in my stomach made for a pretty spectacular August. I still have little jolts when I think of said crush and I enjoy feeling giddy all over again. I told myself that I have to get over it, but then asked myself why. It's fun to have a little mind candy and a few dirty thoughts never hurt anyone. Unless I was whipping and beatiNEVER MIND.

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After nine years in a big, dusty, Victorian house, I finally moved. The landlord sold the house, so everyone had to vamoose in early October. Which turned into mid-October by the time my apartment was ready. Which became late October by the time I was able to take time off work and finish carting stuff out my GOD apparently I'm a hoarder. The prep I had done prior to my parents coming over merely scratched the surface of a nine-year itch. Thankfully, my folks -- who basically ran circles around me, energy-wise -- were on hand several times to cart away garbage and sweep up cat hair and wow, I should really start paying a cleaning service to walk around behind me good lord nasty.

Here are a few things moving taught me. I hadn't moved in almost a decade, so I'd forgotten. Or, more likely, I'd blocked it all out.

1. Moving sucks. You think you're prepared. You aren't. You think you're a dainty flower who doesn't break a sweat. You aren't. Hire professional movers. Can't afford movers? Don't move until you can. There's also the light-a-match-and-trip option, but that can land a person in jail for arson, so pretend I didn't say anything.

2. A thousand women's magazines have probably said this in some form or another, but don't save shit for someday. This generally refers to stuff like only using the fine china for special occasions, or saving a fancy bottle of wine for an anniversary way off in the future. In my case, it refers to my secret (even to me) life as a hoarder in training. I kept finding stuff I meant to do something with, like heavy boxes of magazines from a long-past collage-making phase that was apparently never coming back around. If you're not immediately making homemade cards from the cardboard box remnants of a pretty serious mac-and-cheese addiction, you won't be in six months or six years. Save yourself the dejection of opening a closet door and realizing (fuckfuckfuck) there's even more to do.

3. Pack a bag of essentials that you're going to need as soon as you move in. Some things will likely be on everyone's list, like hand soap and a phone charger, but think about every self-care thing you like to have on hand after a stressful event and put it in that bag. Make the bag red or tie a ribbon on the handle -- make it noticeable -- so you can find it instead of digging through bag after bag while whimpering, "I just want to take a shower." You think you'll remember what bag you packed XYZ in. You won't. You will be certain It's in... this bag! No, this one! and you will be wrong and you will still be stinky. Consider including some or all of the following in your rescue satchel:
  • A new shower curtain (WITH RINGS) and all the toiletry items your precious heart desires (soap, washcloth(s), shampoo, conditioner, bath bombs for tub time, lotion, Axe body spray, etc.)
  • A bottle opener for beer/wine/snooty bottlecap sodas + disposable cups (ice is a luxury and a bonus at this point)
  • Gatorade and bottled water so you can rehydrate
  • Non-perishable protein, like peanut butter, fruit, nuts, etc.
  • A change of clothes, including fresh underoos and a pair of shoes
  • The phone number of someone who will deliver food
  • Some form of entertainment (book, DVD, laptop with Internet connection, etc.)
  • Pain reliever of choice (ibuprofen, over-the-counter whatever, recreational substances complemented by black lights, etc.)
  • Chargers for your electronics (phone, laptop, iPod, gaming system, etc.)
Just remember: It's your bag. Add to it what you want. If you want nothing but a baby wipes shower and a Snickers bar after the last box has been unloaded, then you should have it. Take care of yourself. Moving blows.

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In November, I'll be participating in another prompt-a-day writing project that I've done the past couple years. I'll likely be posting those entries here. Please follow along. I do so enjoy knowing people are reading my words. (Even if I only post them every few months.)


Catherine1216 said...

I find that the people who post comments at usually are pretty good writers themselves.

Your post cracked me up. Your advice on moving and still enjoying the mind candy of an over relationship are spot on. Although I'm not moving, I think I need to go get rid of a few things.

Chi Sherman said...

Thanks for the feedback and the compliments! :D