Thursday, April 14, 2016

Leap (A to Z Blogging Challenge, Day 12)

I posted this photo on Facebook a couple months ago when I was doing a photo-a-day challenge. It was the last day of February in a leap year, so the theme for the day was, fittingly, leap. The backstory:

After thinking about it for two years, I wrote a letter to Ellen DeGeneres in early-ish 2015 and said I wanted to be a writer on her show. I was so very proud of myself for finally sending the letter, for having the courage to leap about as far as I'd ever leaped... and then the blame started. My inner critic had a field day reminding me that half the world probably wants to work for her (or meet her or hug her or whatever). Maybe my letter never made it. Maybe it ended up at the bottom of a mailbag or bin and was never read or read by some 22-year-old intern who has seen thousands of these letters come in and DGAF about my little burst of courage. I didn't follow up because I had no idea what to do or say. It was literally like I had enough chutzpah to finally mail the letter and then the steam train went kapoof. 

I think part of the reason I didn't write again is because I didn't want to sound like a crazy stalker (even though writing a second time to follow up isn't exactly obsessive). Also, after watching clips from her show, I knew I didn't want to be one of the writers who ends up on stage in a skit or posing as a game show host. I'm much happier being a behind-the scenes person, which is both an introvert thing and, I'm sure, a desire to stay in my cozy comfort zone. I'm bad about claiming the spotlight but I definitely wasn't looking to move to L.A. to use the job as some launching pad for an acting career. Basically, I just froze and now more than a year has gone by and... that's it. 

Despite my background in public relations and a close relationship with an extrovert father whose two speeds are ALL THE IDEAS or COMA, I find it difficult to promote myself. Until recently, I didn't have more than 100 followers on Twitter and didn't think my formerly meager social media presence was going to make the show's producers say, "My God, this woman is funny (and has 10,000 followers) and we need to fly her out here immediately for overpriced bottled water and avocados." Luckily, Ellen's show is going to be on the air at least another few seasons and I can try again. If I can figure out what to say a second time. I just have to call on my inner Andy Dufresne and write two letters a week.wink emoticon

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